Today, I’m welcoming another weekend. Typically, my days off are on Wednesday and Sunday, but this time, they fall on Saturday and Sunday. This means I can finally realize my dream of heading out to the downtown area on a Friday night. This is truly delightful news. Now, I have to decide what to do in this limited time. During my weekday lunch breaks, thoughts of this upcoming time off dominated my mind. Alcohol, food, the hustle and bustle of people. My imagination runs wild. I can finally grasp freedom. However, it’s a limited freedom. This time, I want to wander the streets at night, visiting restaurants, cafes, and bars. My excitement is already mounting. I wonder if I’ve ever looked forward to a day off this much. Until now, my days off were mostly spent immersing myself in my hobbies and not spending money. So, this will be a rare splurge, a delightful one at that. This will surely add another memory to my life’s experiences. To enjoy, to sing, to daydream. The city at night, moonlight, people coming and going, the silence of the evening. Everything guides me towards pleasure. Oh, the long-awaited day off! Grant me, grant me your happiness!
Cars hurrying home, young people heading out to play, salarymen venturing out for drinks — various people’s holidays can be found here. I too create my own holiday in this place. A holiday smeared with desire and amusement. The neon-lit streets dazzle the eyes, shining brilliantly. The sun of the night appears here. I continue to walk, suppressing my surging desires. One might wonder, am I going to drink alone? Of course. Being alone is the ultimate pleasure. Eating ravenously while submerged in solitude. Gulping down alcohol and sinking into a sea of thoughts. This golden routine is the mission of my life. If I don’t fulfill this mission, the eight million gods might punish me. Living with such a sin might not be so bad. Wandering the wilderness as a sinner. It’s not bad, not bad at all. Yearning is what drives me. What drives other people to live? Isn’t desire the source of human prosperity? It seems it’s time for contemplation.
Wandering aimlessly, I finally arrived at the restaurant I was looking for. It appeared to be both a café and bar, boasting European-style cuisine. To be in Japan and yet feel as though you’re in Europe—what a wondrous age we live in. Perhaps this is the charm of modern times. It’s 7 p.m. now, and I don’t see any other customers. As I entered, a young female staff member greeted me. I was directed to sit wherever I pleased, so I took a seat in the corner. The interior is modern, predominantly white. Uplifting Western music plays, illuminating the space with its brightness. Everything is set in such light tones, and there I was, an embodiment of darkness, starkly contrasting the setting. It’s like a painting—one sculpted by reality. I wish an artist could capture this scene: a bright restaurant and a worker clad in darkness! Ah, the byproducts of capitalism! Surely, this represents a microcosm of society! One must not miss the waves of capitalism! It’s time to embark on the vast ocean! What to eat? What to toss into my stomach? The time of contemplation has already begun. Even in a single meal, reflect your philosophy! After all, today’s meal is once in a lifetime. A time of tension and pressure approaches. One mustn’t be overwhelmed. There are times when, even in the face of formidable foes, one must fight. Now is that time! My decision has been made. Today, I’ll indulge in British flavors—specifically, fish and chips. Accompanied by a Shirley Temple. Although the Shirley Temple is an American-origin cocktail, such details are trivial now. Any dissenters might as well face the guillotine. Didn’t I vow to weave philosophy into my meals?
Finally, it’s time to feast. Hunger dominates me, and all I can think of is shoving the meal before me into my stomach. Is this the reward for my weekday labor? Such luxury or simplicity in this meal is relative. Life’s value is determined by the amount of money. Oh, the sorrow of capitalism. However, you have bestowed much upon me. I can’t possibly think it’s all bad. Under the guise of expansion and growth, countless bodies fall, yet you must march on. That’s your mission. I shall partake in the blessings of capitalism. Fish and chips, haven’t had it since my college trip to Europe. A wave of nostalgia hits me. Bliss, nostalgia, desire, despair. A flood of emotions engulfs me. I’ll indulge in these feelings tonight and jot down these thoughts right away. My writings pile up like a cesspool. Writing invigorates me. It stimulates my brain and spirit. I feel power surging. Time to eat! The surface is crisply done. Hidden beneath the steel-like crust lies the fluffy white flesh of the fish. The crunchy texture paired with the soft melt-in-mouth feel of the fish. Truly, a moment of perfection! As I eat, my thoughts continue to flow. I devour voraciously, progressing methodically as if an army on the march. This march, I suspect, won’t halt. Desires have no endpoint. Once you taste this nectar, you can’t escape the swamp. You just keep sinking, aiming for the bottom that doesn’t exist. The chips are thin, tailored to Japanese taste. How were the chips in Britain? I can’t recall. But the food in Britain was delightful. Some around me had complaints, but I, indifferent to gourmet indulgence, enjoyed it all. Does luxury dull our sense of happiness? Spoil your taste, and food becomes bland. The waiter gave me vinegar to change up the flavor, and there’s tartar sauce too. I won’t tire of this taste. Being able to savor various flavors at once, is that also a luxury? I always want more and more. This can be a bad habit but also something that elevates my abilities. Criticism is tricky. Everything is determined by personal perception. As I devour, I occasionally take a break with a Shirley Temple. The sensation of the soda flowing from the esophagus to the stomach is a powerful punch. It washes away the fatigue from the weekday grind. This could become a sort of drug. Drowning weekday grievances in alcohol, only to return to work. Increasing the amount gradually since getting drunk becomes harder. And thus, you enter the darkness of addiction. Fortunately, the entrance fee is as cheap as a bottle of liquor. It’s open to all. That’s equality. The diversity of addictions. Oh, modern liberalism even here. I should observe society’s light and dark closely. Hone my observational skills and acquire a delicate mind. Even if it’s not useful, aspire to a greater virtue. Desire will lead me to new horizons. After eating this much, I shouldn’t crave anything more. Even Buddha said attachment leads to suffering. Liberation from attachment is challenging, especially when it comes to appetite. That’s inevitable. A meal without appetite is harmful, shortening one’s lifespan. But something lurks in the shadows, fueling this appetite. I must pinpoint it, reveal it, and address it.
Having become full, I head to the next shop. When hungry, various emotions swirl within. Regrets from the past, dissatisfaction with the present, and anxiety about the future. These emotions tend to arise during times of physical and emotional instability. There’s a solution: to eat until you’re fully satisfied. Once your physiological needs are met, negative feelings miraculously fade away. Perhaps it’s a biological instinct. If you can secure food, you can survive for a certain period. However, hunger will inevitably return. But I have already discovered the strategy to cope. I no longer need to be at the mercy of these feelings. I can reclaim peaceful and calm days. There’s nothing to worry about.
Now, the place I’m heading to is called a “night cafe”. It operates from evening till late. This is great news for someone like me, who is fond of the nighttime. Amidst the quietness of the night, a serene café ambiance, warm coffee, and cake await. It’s a blissful time. Even in a hectic life, moments of peace are essential. Such moments don’t just fall from the sky; you have to create them. Today, my wish has come true. I intend to fully enjoy it. The cafe stands discreetly within a shopping district. I quickly enter. It seems to be a popular spot. Despite being early, almost all the seats are taken. However, I manage to secure a seat at the counter. After placing my order, I take my time observing the interior. Many of the customers are young women. Perhaps they’re here for the sweet treats. Maybe sweets are indispensable to women. Sweets and chatter might be their idea of a perfect time. For me too, these two are quite enjoyable. Although, the chances for me to chat have considerably decreased compared to the past.
The arrival of what fulfills my sense of happiness: matcha cake and blended coffee. They say there’s always room for dessert, and how true that is. With this, my tour of stores for today comes to an end. A break from the daily grind of work. And then, I return to work again. Everyday life comes back. The extraordinary ends, but that doesn’t mean everyday life is painful. This is extremely important to understand. Those who get tired of the daily routine tend to seek excessive stimulation. We need to think about enjoying our daily life more, which means enjoying our work. I wonder when the next store tour will be. For now, I’ll indulge in a somewhat solitary, gloomy indoor life.
【End】